Cordoba

Street Art

Is it just me or has that kid got half a speech mark attatched to his leg? Oh my god you small child, smash that punctuation before it implants that feeling of knowing how to get your message across effectively!

"We don't want him neither" - And Argentina hasn't seen that fascist Colonel Sanders show his face since he shaved his moustache.

Putting up "2 = 2" would save 1 spray can per year and still get the message across. 

The special effects team that made 'Jurassic Park' have really let themselves go since CGI took their jobs away. They just don't know how to let go. "Rrroooaawwwrr"

"If they privatise, you sell off your culture"

I spoke to someone who is bi-lingul to get the contextual meaning of this. Here it is. 

"To pay such an expensive bus ticket will kill you" 

I don't know if a rapper that looks like ET put on a disguise is famous here, or if this is a poli(e)tician.

Things are quite contrary here.....

It must be about 13 or 15 degrees here, motorcycles hardly wear gloves and only sometimes have helmuts. This guy is at least covering his face and neck from the wind.

This is what motorcyclists should be doing. But with leather gloves. 

Watch your step......

Here the onus is on the pedestrian to make sure they don't roll their ankle. 

I have a feeling the makers of Mario Brothers got their inspiration for downward pipe portals from the experience you get when you drop a metre or so into a world far away from pedestrian banality.

Futbol!

 Here in a city far away from the home of the two most popular futbol clubs in the country, Boca Juniors and River Plate, they still support the Buenos Aires teams fanatically. I got told that people in Buenos only get like this near a stadium. Here a pub with the promise of smelling other fanatics is the closest you can get to being there!

They have been known to be violent. They weren't playing eachother, but I am extra tough for taking these photos because you can get shot in the face for taking photos of supporters if you aren't wearing their colours. I got shot in the face, but I am alright. I just look like I like to eat lemons, and often.

No OH&S here, you are free to fall out of the pub onto concrete for your team!!

                                                                   

Yeah, but who does he fuck? Is he doing it right now?

Antiquity

Because I'm a hipster I made this photo look vintage. It is a street antique fair. Lovely stuff, like old saws and rust. I looked at a vinyl of Colombian Salsa that had been extensively weathered. I then said "No, Thanks". Cool story Hansel.

This is the artisenal part.

I 'm a 'fan' of this object. Made of solid guts from the days when men used to wake up to a brick in the face after having a sleep on an ants nest. Actually, I'd just prefer fans to still be this solid and classic looking without the other pleasantries.

And this object, solid brass from the good ol' days. Used to store milk. A friend found a peso in it. He's now a millionaire here!

Box style living

One of the sad truths if you live in a city here is that you might end up living in a box with artificial light and terrible windows. It's just a bummer.

                                   

Rosario

Four hours north west of Buenos Aires.

The reason England "owns" the Faulklands is because the Argentine army traditionally fights naked but the English army has dogs, and dogs like sausages.

In the distance is an amazing green figure. I'll zoom in for you.

Here it is, I love the form. So green, curvy and alluring. The soft drink bottle on the bottom left exemplifies the achievement of western civilisation. BTW sausageless nakes women is Argentina's new strategy to win the Faulklands back.  

The Egyptians built the pyramids, the Argentines built a monument to the predecessor of Bear Grylls. There's so much euphamistic possibility here I don't know what to say.

This one is called "My Yo-Yo Broke".

"That's not how you use a bidet"

To the left of this figure you can see a small sign asking dog owners to pick up poop. So obviously not a real army guy though, dog owners will hardly be scared.

"It's precarious to work here"

You get a countown at the lights as a pedestrian sometimes!

  Naked Chick Statue - In commemoration of "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" being written. That book was actually based on the mythology of naked Argeninians turning into stone near fountains. 

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Hello, I was here. For a week and a half.

Here everyone travels by boats with hangliders attatched. They have pools on every roof to land. I have arranged a meeting with Clover Moore to make this happen in Sydney when I get back.

There is actually a huge Bigfoot movement in Buenos Aires. Here is the local club's emblem. The foot represents Bigfoot's foot, the shapes represent the mountains where he lives. Either that or Bigfoot is known for stepping on corn-chips. I didn't have a guide to explain any of this to me, but I'm learning so much about latin culture by making things up on the go.

I got so excited I tried to do my own graffiti to represent our Australian mythical creatures. I was so nervous for fear of getting caught, I spelled "goana" wrong. Anyways......LONG LIVE GOANA! 

La Boca

Here is a picture from the Boca. "Boca" literally translates to "Mouth". It is where you will get hit if you walk past the tourist section that is painted nicely to the non-painted section with the nice man who offers you weed.

Bill Cosby is huge here. He founded the local soccer club as a side project in the 1960's. When they dubbed "Terminator 2" into Spanish, Arnold Schwarzenegger's character was given the exact same vocal mannerisms as Bill Cosby in honour of his contribution to Argentine soccer.

I took ninety-seven tango classes here in five minutes. I forgot everything because the UFOs that taught me wanted me to learn football next. I was too pooped and (telepathically) said "No", so they took my tango skills away.

Here the soccer players get their skills from UFOs. Over his shoulder they tell him how to play fantastically, so he can escape the drudgery of a colourfully painted tourist area and finally earn some grey cement he can call his own.

In the background is a colourfully painted hospital.

La Feria de Mataderos

This place is simply a fantastic market, an hour on the bus out of the main part of the city.

Vegetarians look away. In fact don't ever come here.

Here my American friends and I are waiting for what they said were the best empenadas in the world. They were. Took half-an-hour wait.

When they're not using hang-glider boats, they use these.

I never really got the meaning of Ginuine's song "My Pony" until I saw how much ponies can really mean to some people. Ginuine must treat his pony real nice, like this one.

Here is a man on a horse. About to show off.

He takes a run up and pokes a stick through a tiny ring on the end of a rope that is underneath a goalpost. They try heaps of times and only get it accurately one in ten I'd say. When they get it the whole crowd shouts "Hooplah!" then does the chicken dance. 

It's heaps fun, I even tried this activity eleven times but didn't get any photos because I'm lying. 

     Cool  Old Cars

Random Shots

Some people are so poor here they can't afford to put regular fixtures in their businesses.

This restaurant must keep breaking their phones and can't affort the rubbish collection service. They just let them pile up. So poor.

This is how the people who do streetwork make their lunch. Just a bunch of meat and a barbecue. Australian streetworkers are much too taxed by OH&S issues because, whilst they use jackhammers, they could get burned pinky finger after the barbecue.

That's what I think about pizza too.

This poem loosely translates. That's because I'm loose at translating right now.